WaPo has the following article on a line of modest swimwear:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/07/13/AR2006071301845.htmlI personally found the article to be scornful and dismissive and I wrote her a long email in reply (below). I wonder if she will write back....
"Greetings Ms. Givhan,
Thank you for your recent article on WholesomeWear and presenting your opinion.It's unfortunate, though, that your opinion and similar ones are the ones that seem to receive the most attention in our modern media. I disagree, and strongly.
I am a Muslim woman who chooses to wear a headscarf and clothes that cover up to my ankles and wrists. And yes, I do feel "liberated" by doing so. I was a slave to fashion for so long. And I didn't make the transition into Islamic dress to avoid running up my Express card every month - it was a natural progression during spiritual changes I went through many years ago. Does it get hot sometimes? Yes. Do I wish I had more clothing choices sometimes? Yes. But do I think I was happier/better off before? No - a thousand times "no."
It's easy to go around making statements like, "embrace the freedom," or "yes, maybe society sucks but just go against the tide, love your body." But the reality is that we live in a society that appraises you in three seconds or less (ask Malcolm Gladwell). And we live in a society where test after test has shown that slim, attractive people have more access to jobs, resources and the like. And we live in a society where shows like Fox's "The Swan" exist - where people essentially mutilate themselves to find a happiness that before was only in their dreams (happiness in this case directly correlated with fake breasts, hair extensions, self-tanner and liposuction). Ms. Givhan, did you notice a certain Katherine McPhee - a girl who is stunning with a gorgeous voice admitting to bulimia? Many would say she was more than fine the was she was - but what messages from her society was she receiving that told her all she had wasn't enough...that she was still "not quite right." Ms. Givhan, hypotheticals are nice and make good copy, but the reality is just that - Reality.
Reality doesn't make good copy. Reality is the injustice, the 3-second appraisals, the pervs that stare and lick their lips on the Metro ride at the co-eds in the Powersuit/miniskirts. The Reality is the non-pervs who just "can't help" but stare at the chest of the female in front of him. The Reality is a society that makes us change our wardrobe every few months with what is now in style (i.e. "for sale") or risk ridicule. The Reality is clothes being modeled on anorexic Barbies, worn by bulimic celebrities and then bought by women above a size 4 who suddenly hate themselves because they don't look as good as said Barbies and celebrities. Apparently, if one is not skinny enough that their breastbone PROTRUDES, then their otherwise frightening skinniness is not worth mentioning. That's Reality Ms. Givhan.
So, unstated but apparent among the many beautiful freedoms this country allows is the freedom to choose. You have the freedom to be a part of the game, the race, whatever one wants to call the sick cycle of trying to keep up with society's expectations, buying all the clothes, losing all the weight, dealing with the injustices, trying to keep your head up, failing, therapy, bulimia, Prozac, whatever....it's all lumped together. Or you have the freedom to make a choice.The truth is when I chose to put on the hijab, I assure you, it was only for a spiritual purpose, to assist in personal, spiritual development. It was soon after that I realized the enormous social aspect of wearing it. I found that I was offered respect - from the same men staring hard and exchanging words about some girl's extra low riding pants and what they exposed - I was having doors opened and held and hasty apologies given for any profanity made around me. The comparison was stark.
I would leave my home in the morning amazed at how I didn't feel bad if I wasn't "made." My hair not perfectly done up, makeup perfect (and yes, I was one of those with a long regimen). I found how much I used to dread going outside and all the preparations. And that the times - before - when I wasn't "made" I felt like a slothful pig. I didn't mind walking past certain places anymore - usually places where men gathered like construction sites or even more informal gatherings. Before I would have to brace myself for the onslaught of comments. Now, they may look up, acknowledge my existence and get back to what they are doing. I didn't have to be probed and dissected by unwanted eyes. And ask any Muslim woman in this country who is wearing Islamic dress after having not been Muslim or been practicing, and I guarantee she will tell you the same.
Ms. Givhan, in America the reality is that our society has a serious issue regarding women and their bodies. And people have to make difficult choices all the time. And I made a choice several years ago and - God willing - will never return to my old ways. There was nothing there for me there but competition, unhappiness with body and always feeling like I couldn't win. And you will find that most women tend to feel that way. But now, I am free. People make assessments on me based on what comes out of my mouth, not my low top and miniskirt.
Not that long ago I was in a bowling alley and went up to the shoe rental counter. As happens occasionally the man took one look at my jeans, long sleeve shirt and headscarf and openly sneered at me. Finally he said "Why are you wearing that thing on your head?" I replied "Excuse me?" And he said "I said, Why are you wearing that thing on your head. This is AMERICA. You are free. FREE. You don't have to wear that." I responded "You are absolutely right. I am free to practice my religion however I see fit." He looked at me, cocked his head to the side and said "Well, I guess you have a point there." I kid you not.
Sometimes, when I read articles like yours and hear some of the difficult experiences that friends and family might endure because of their choice of more MODEST dress, I wonder if it occurs to people that freedom can go many ways. I am free in this country, to wear my hijab to work to school. Sometimes countries where the vast majority of people are Muslim, this is forbidden, they are not free to do so, such as Turkey. I am free to wear pants and a long sleeve shirt, and don't have to wear an all-encompassing black abaya, the norm in Saudi Arabia. Although if I wanted to take the hijab off, or if I wanted to wear the abaya - which I do on occasion - I am free to do so.
That is the beauty of this country. Yes, the commodification and exploitation of women is all pervasive and something MUST be done about it. But, I don't have to sell out my ideas of what I believe is right for me. You can't make me change by force, nor can the police stop me on the street and rip off my scarf. That is freedom. You certainly have the freedom to write about what you think is right for yourself - and even what you think is right for others. And people have the right to tell you they think you are dead wrong.
And that is what I hope to have done here.
Sincerely,
Zohra"
